just remember, someone outthere, wants you in their life.

Posts tagged “advice


? doubts and questions?

We started off as strangers
then soon became friends
I told you I loved you.
though you didn’t feel the same
soon after I said it, it started as a game
but soon became the truth
but I don’t know what made me love you

you’re the first one I think of when I wake up
and last one I think of before I go to sleep
I love you so much I wish you never have to leave

EVERYTHING, our late night talks, dumb jokes
awkward moments and all the laughter
just makes me fall in love with you more….
you give me butterflies when you say the sweetest things.
but when you act like the one I didn’t fall in love with…
it makes me wonder if we were really meant to be



Things I havent told you. (i have either been dishonest or lied by omission. I want to set stuff right.)

This list is far too long. There are several things I haven’t told you. There are several things I should have told you but didn’t. There are things I was ashamed of admitting to others, until recently. So spare me the judgments, for I have already judged myself. And I finally have the courage to admit it to the public, so that I wont be ashamed anymore.
here’s my list.

  1. I have had my first kiss. This was after I told you I never kissed anyone though. So I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you.
  2. My first kiss was Robert. That guy I saw for a week, when I thought I was over Dillon. He kissed me (and he wasn’t a very good kisser)
  3. later that week, I lost my virginity. Again, to Robert. I don’t want to hear how I was too young. I have heard. From everyone I told (not very many)
  4. it didn’t mean anything. at all. and that was the biggest mistake of my life.
  5. I am having feelings (strong feelings) for trey, but I am not completely over Dillon.


okay, maybe it wasn’t a super-long list. but the lists contents, make up for several unfilled pages.

I am sorry for not being fully honest with you. I regret.

regression and regrets

to regress: the act of going back to a previous place or state; return or reversion

to regret: a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.;a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.


I wish Dillon and i had never met. i wish we never started talking on Facebook this summer. Then i would have no reason to cry myself to sleep at night. i wouldn’t have any reason to lie in bed and wonder what i could have changed, what i could have done to not make him hate me now. I still don’t know if that message Monday was worth it or not. i told him i liked him…but it ruined whatever kind of friendship we had. i destroyed everything i was building up on. maybe i should forget about him. oh, I’ve tried. but doing that is like trying to breathe under water….

is it worth the pain?

dillon, pros and cons #2


  1. his hair! (I know I put that in the last one, but, really!)
  2. he’s funny
  3. he looks good in plaid
  4. he’s cute
  5. he’s smart!
  6. he’s tall
  7. he makes me happy, just by his presence
  8. he has a lot of friends
  9. he doesn’t care if he’s different
  10. his smile makes my day.


  1. he treats some people like he’s better than them.
  2. he is starting to be a jerk
  3. he is a wuss sometimes.
  4. he makes me laugh
  5. he makes me cry
  6. he said he was my friend
  7. he lies
  8. he is manipulative
  9. he gets in trouble alot
  10.  he goes too far for attention
  11. I don’t hate him.

when you know why you like someone it’s a crush. when you have no reason or explanation, it’s love. –lil wayne

telling someone why you love them is like explaining what water tastes like.

if you find someone who treats you like an option, you’ll miss out on the one who will treat you like a priority.